You could help her! Detective daughter, copy. "Please don't be me."

I’ve arrived safely… and after catching some zzz’s swith the most wonderful man I know (my boyfriend)… I woke up refreshed (albeit slightly groggy and horribly red-eyed) and deliriously happy.

Being able to kiss him again feels… amazing. Waking up next to him [after a nap] as entangled in each other as we were the moment we started drifting off… is even better.

I don’t know what else to write. I’m going to bask in the beauty that is our reunion and then it’s back to work for me. Also… he and I have some things to take care of, namely arranging this apartment into non-bachelor mode… So many car parts and computer parts lying about… good grief. :-P

~

And so I am torn, really, over two men who do not see relationship potential in me, but see only other things [like "beneficial" friendships] in me instead. The bottom line is, while I have successfully managed to convince both of them (and myself, sometimes) that I am indifferent to every blow, and that I am all smiles, no matter what ends up happening, I am always secretly screaming for them to see me, all of me, for once. And in turn, somehow, fall in love with me, the way I have fallen in love with them.

He found me, all the way from across the country. And we met at a bar too. I went to said bar, begrudgingly, and as a favour to a friend, not knowing I will find my soulmate there. I am moving to Vancouver to be with said soulmate (and to pursue my MFA). I mean… Jesus. Who knew?

An excerpt from the pages of a journal I literally tore apart in frustration. I kept these pages all this time. I am now going to throw these journals away.

Goodbye demons.

~